love doesn't exist

I am really trying to convince myself that love really doesn't exist anymore, I am trying not to feel hurt i drew today thinking of how peyton sawyer thought of love and the one thing that kept running through my mind over and over again was "they always leave" and i mean i know that i am married and everything but it doesn't mean that i can't feel hurt or that my heart is breaking because i am hurt and my heart IS breaking. It's like he's cheating on me only he isn't. As of right now i'm not even sure of anything I don't know if he's flirting with another woman having sex with her or he just doesn't give a rats ass about me anymore, if any of that is the case he needs to speak up and stop leaving me in the dark because right now i am so miserable that i am just coming off as a straight up bitch, and I've never ever wanted to treat him that way because I know that he's been through enough crap like that but... am i asking for too much? No I am not. Just be a husband don't be someone who i live with and every now and then share benefits if I wanted that hell I could do that without even being married. I just want him to love and BE IN love with me... show me you love me kiss me like you mean it have sex with me because you've never wanted me more don't do those things because you feel obligated to do so. I've never been in love with someone more in my life.... i just need you to talk to me.... you talk to everyone else but me and it effin sucks. If you love Jennifer tell me if you love Claudia tell me. There just needs to be communcation line and it has to be open and if you don't want that there is no point in us even being together.