i appoligize for the last post

I was just really upset with george I mean I guess me feeling lonely and depressed got the better of me and made me a complete bitch. Because since he doesn't like to communicate with me and when I try and he really doesn't answer me back it makes me feelreally stressed out because then everything stays bottled in until the bitch in myself gets out and a lot of shit happened yesterday but it was my fault weather he wants to admit it or not. But were going to go to consuling and see what we can work out about everything that is going on with us... And I just hope we can make it work but I feel so guilty because he put my mom in the middle of it and I yelled at her and I never seen her cry before I just hope she doesn't hate me because when I saw that I was already kicking myself in the ass- that's why I got even more pissed off me and georges problem are our own we don't need to be involving anyone else except for those involved. So sorry for those who had to hear about it...

shaking of how pissed off i am

dude like what the fuck!!! GEORGE IS A FUCKING PUSSY!!! CANT HANDLE SHIT LIKE A REAL MAN HAS TO BE A LITTLE PUSSY AND CALL MY MOM BECAUSE HES NOTHING BUT A LITTLE BITCH BUT YOU KNOW WHAT THATS OKAY BECAUSE WE'RE NOT GOING TO BE TOGETHER ANYMORE AND COME MONDAY MORNING I WILL BE CALLING THE ATTORNEY GENERAL SO THAT I CAN PUT CHILD SUPPORT ON HIS ASS HE WANTS TO FUCK WITH ME I CAN BE THE BADDEST BITCH IN THIS TOWN AND I DON'T CARE. HE CAN BE WITH JENNIFER IF HE WANTS BUT YOU KNOW WHAT I'VE GIVEN UP AND I'M TIRED OF BEING SOO DAMN MISERABLE WITH HIS PUSSY ASS. SO FUCK THAT! HE CAN BE WITH WHOEVER HE WANTS AND I DOUBT ANYONE WILL WANT HIM WHEN HE HAS A EX WIFE WHO IS A BITCH*ME* WHO ALSO HAS 2 KIDS AND 2 BABY MAMAS AND IS PAYING CHILD SUPPORT ON BOTH OF THEM AND HE WONT HAVE MONEY FOR HIMSELF. HAHAH! YES I AM PISSED OFF

i want to feel better about myself

So Maybe the difficulties are that I am insecure about my own body... what ya think? I think so. My husband says he loves me and that he is always bragging about me so maybe it's my own insecurities about my body that has my feeling the way that I am.
This could deffintely be true... who knows right? but anyway so we bought the wii fit i think over this past weekend and tonight was my first time playing it and oh my gosh, i feel like i could be sweating i have heat feeling all over my body so it must be doing the job that it is supposed to be. so i need to start eating right taking my pills an occasional herbalife shake and tea and etc. and then burn about 600 calories a day. sounds good to me so hopefully this works :D

love doesn't exist

I am really trying to convince myself that love really doesn't exist anymore, I am trying not to feel hurt i drew today thinking of how peyton sawyer thought of love and the one thing that kept running through my mind over and over again was "they always leave" and i mean i know that i am married and everything but it doesn't mean that i can't feel hurt or that my heart is breaking because i am hurt and my heart IS breaking. It's like he's cheating on me only he isn't. As of right now i'm not even sure of anything I don't know if he's flirting with another woman having sex with her or he just doesn't give a rats ass about me anymore, if any of that is the case he needs to speak up and stop leaving me in the dark because right now i am so miserable that i am just coming off as a straight up bitch, and I've never ever wanted to treat him that way because I know that he's been through enough crap like that but... am i asking for too much? No I am not. Just be a husband don't be someone who i live with and every now and then share benefits if I wanted that hell I could do that without even being married. I just want him to love and BE IN love with me... show me you love me kiss me like you mean it have sex with me because you've never wanted me more don't do those things because you feel obligated to do so. I've never been in love with someone more in my life.... i just need you to talk to me.... you talk to everyone else but me and it effin sucks. If you love Jennifer tell me if you love Claudia tell me. There just needs to be communcation line and it has to be open and if you don't want that there is no point in us even being together.