Thinking about my dad yet again....

I don't know why but I think today I have been thinking alot about him wishing I had a relationship with him but it will never happen because of the wife he has, ever since she walked into his life our relationship turned from something to nothing.

I remember this one time I was maybe 11-12 and I had previousaly fractured my ankle and I brought my "boot" to play with wear and I on accident I stepped on her kids foot and she screamed at me to take it off and I remember getting quiet and i ran into my dads house & I cried. He Didn't defend me then.

Or When she yelled at me because she blamed me for breaking the computer he did defend me then but he still forgave her for it, and neither one of those times did she appoligize to me.

Or yelling at me when I had a pill that some guy gave me back in school because i told her kid if she wanted it, when I was messing around with her I was never going to let her take it I would have laughed it off. My dad actually wanted to take me down to the police station for it and the only reason he didn't was because his truck didn't work.

Or the time his wife was spreading MY BUSINESS around her family that's when I stopped trusting her and found out the hard way that I could never tell her anything.

Or the time she told her daughter not to mess with me and try to stay away from me because I was a bad kid and a bad influence. Are you kidding me? Her Kid Named Brittany Michelle Raybon (wishes her last name was Morrow) told me over and over again to hook her up with someone because she was desperate to have a boyfriend and totally desperate to loose her Virginity. You shouldn't have to be rushed into Virginity you should take your time getting there.

But I feel Like I've always been so lost without having a Dad around, like when I had banquets and she couldn't come he would say that he wasn't coming then.

Or the time he actually came from Brazoria to Corpus Christi for my tennis tournament back in the 8th grade. He dropped me off and the skanks kid off at my tournament while he went back to pick the skanky wife at the hotel because she wasn't done putting on her makeup it would take years to make her look beautiful.

So by the time He got back I had already played my match (and lost) but yet he always gets mad because I never invited him to any of my functions or whatever you want to call them. you wanna know why? because your there more for your wife than me.

not to mention that he bought her kid a 2 cars wrecked them. not to mention insurance.

oh and let's see theres the part where he paid for his wife to have surgery because she was getting fatter and she couldn't loose the weight because she was so damn lazy.

then let's see.... he had to pay all that money insurance didn't cover it. and i asked for an ipod touch and yet that's too expensive. asshole

it just breaks my heart to know i don't have a dad and that i got replaced. it truly sucks for me.

It feels like a part of me is missing and it always will be. Because I haven't had a dad since I was about 8 years old when Sherry left.

ever since he's thrown me out to the curb.

but yet I still in a way kind of my son to know his grandfather.

Because he's to ask me one day where my father is...

Hmmm... I guess this questioned will always be un-answered. or I could use my sister's advice and say that he doesn't need to know who he is...