jealousy and tears

So I now finally know what that skank looks like the only thing I am jelous of though.. is her body.
she has no boobs or an ass but she's skinny and I am so jealous that I am actually here blogging with tears in my eyes holding them back until my mom leaves because I don't want her to see me crying but as soon as she leaves... here come the water works!! I mean this woman was not allowed in my apartment in anyway whoever that skank told to come up here did but I guess I am jealous of her overall my husband used to be with her but I did get the better end I got the ring and I rock his last name... but that still doesn't make me feel any better...my heart is filled with pain and I can't stop shaking...Ugh. I hate this feeling I have never felt this way before sure I've hated some exes I hate another one of my husbands Exes Jennifer Morales-Barerra and then there was Nicole from my ex robert but never felt this jealous before, IDK why I don't think Claudia, is even that attractive. She's dark short and ugly. the one thing i wish i had was the fact that she could probally make someone a better wife than I ever will be able to do. the 2nd? Ilissa likes her and Ilissa probally hates me. I do what I can for her even if she does continue to hate me, I can't change her mind about that.. I just hate feeling so jealous and I don't know how to stop it and it makes it worse that I can put a face to the name. It is tearing me up inside... well that's all for now.