Divorce.

Yes, It is true I am getting a divorce.

I don't know if George knows it's coming or not but I really don't care anymore I've been talking to my attorneys all week and waiting for the meeting to figure out what exactly is going to happen and when i figure out each step of the way then I'll tell everyone who deserves to know, but all the friends know what is going on just not the family because I know that they will try and talk me out of it or say go to church and it will help my marriage or go to consuling. But Seriousally I am done I just really want to find someone to be with someone who is going to help me and is going to support me in anything and everything that I want to do, & George isn't doing that. I've tried working on this with him but how can i make it work with him if I am the only one trying? So, I am done. I love him but i'm not in love anymore I have moved on with him at my side and that isn't right but this is why we need to divorce I asked for a seperation and he said if I leave then it's done so you know what let it be then. I wasn't such a bitch to him and now that's what is happening and I don't want that, I want and need and deserve to be happy and he deserves the same and the only way we can do that is if we move on with our lives and be the best possible parents to a 2 year old.

Plus- I kind of met someone and nothing is serious and I've only been talking to him a few weeks and george has heard me talk about him but probally doesn't know what is going on... and I'm gonna go visit him soon. I really like this guy and he just makes me feel special. But Idk- what will happen weather or not this works out I just hope I can be his friend because I enjoy the conversations we have. I just know I need to move on with my life and learn how to be the independent mom who can stand on her own 2 feet without help from anyone, I have to do this for my son and for me. But mainly for him. I love you baby!

I just want to find happiness and I don't know if i ever will.... but I know it's alot worse being here because if he touches me im annoyed tries kissing me i just want to hit him calls me babe i would beat him and thats not healthy, this marriage is over. I tried he didn't, i'm not the one to blame I can't make a make this marriage work on my own he has to meet me half way and he failed to do so and he was given way to many chances and screwed up and made me feel like crap. GAME OVER.

i appoligize for the last post

I was just really upset with george I mean I guess me feeling lonely and depressed got the better of me and made me a complete bitch. Because since he doesn't like to communicate with me and when I try and he really doesn't answer me back it makes me feelreally stressed out because then everything stays bottled in until the bitch in myself gets out and a lot of shit happened yesterday but it was my fault weather he wants to admit it or not. But were going to go to consuling and see what we can work out about everything that is going on with us... And I just hope we can make it work but I feel so guilty because he put my mom in the middle of it and I yelled at her and I never seen her cry before I just hope she doesn't hate me because when I saw that I was already kicking myself in the ass- that's why I got even more pissed off me and georges problem are our own we don't need to be involving anyone else except for those involved. So sorry for those who had to hear about it...

shaking of how pissed off i am

dude like what the fuck!!! GEORGE IS A FUCKING PUSSY!!! CANT HANDLE SHIT LIKE A REAL MAN HAS TO BE A LITTLE PUSSY AND CALL MY MOM BECAUSE HES NOTHING BUT A LITTLE BITCH BUT YOU KNOW WHAT THATS OKAY BECAUSE WE'RE NOT GOING TO BE TOGETHER ANYMORE AND COME MONDAY MORNING I WILL BE CALLING THE ATTORNEY GENERAL SO THAT I CAN PUT CHILD SUPPORT ON HIS ASS HE WANTS TO FUCK WITH ME I CAN BE THE BADDEST BITCH IN THIS TOWN AND I DON'T CARE. HE CAN BE WITH JENNIFER IF HE WANTS BUT YOU KNOW WHAT I'VE GIVEN UP AND I'M TIRED OF BEING SOO DAMN MISERABLE WITH HIS PUSSY ASS. SO FUCK THAT! HE CAN BE WITH WHOEVER HE WANTS AND I DOUBT ANYONE WILL WANT HIM WHEN HE HAS A EX WIFE WHO IS A BITCH*ME* WHO ALSO HAS 2 KIDS AND 2 BABY MAMAS AND IS PAYING CHILD SUPPORT ON BOTH OF THEM AND HE WONT HAVE MONEY FOR HIMSELF. HAHAH! YES I AM PISSED OFF

i want to feel better about myself

So Maybe the difficulties are that I am insecure about my own body... what ya think? I think so. My husband says he loves me and that he is always bragging about me so maybe it's my own insecurities about my body that has my feeling the way that I am.
This could deffintely be true... who knows right? but anyway so we bought the wii fit i think over this past weekend and tonight was my first time playing it and oh my gosh, i feel like i could be sweating i have heat feeling all over my body so it must be doing the job that it is supposed to be. so i need to start eating right taking my pills an occasional herbalife shake and tea and etc. and then burn about 600 calories a day. sounds good to me so hopefully this works :D

love doesn't exist

I am really trying to convince myself that love really doesn't exist anymore, I am trying not to feel hurt i drew today thinking of how peyton sawyer thought of love and the one thing that kept running through my mind over and over again was "they always leave" and i mean i know that i am married and everything but it doesn't mean that i can't feel hurt or that my heart is breaking because i am hurt and my heart IS breaking. It's like he's cheating on me only he isn't. As of right now i'm not even sure of anything I don't know if he's flirting with another woman having sex with her or he just doesn't give a rats ass about me anymore, if any of that is the case he needs to speak up and stop leaving me in the dark because right now i am so miserable that i am just coming off as a straight up bitch, and I've never ever wanted to treat him that way because I know that he's been through enough crap like that but... am i asking for too much? No I am not. Just be a husband don't be someone who i live with and every now and then share benefits if I wanted that hell I could do that without even being married. I just want him to love and BE IN love with me... show me you love me kiss me like you mean it have sex with me because you've never wanted me more don't do those things because you feel obligated to do so. I've never been in love with someone more in my life.... i just need you to talk to me.... you talk to everyone else but me and it effin sucks. If you love Jennifer tell me if you love Claudia tell me. There just needs to be communcation line and it has to be open and if you don't want that there is no point in us even being together.

in reguards to my last post

The only thing that I truly meant was about my husbands ex. And that I also want to say that I don't like drama so that's why I never give my 2 cents because if my life revolved around it I would put in my piece of info the only thing I have to say is me and george will be together no matter what anyone thinks and it hurts me more than anything to see 2 of the people who I love most and care about most in this world. It sucks but life moves on all we can do is pray for those who wish us harm and teach our children not to be that way.

eff you b-i-t-c-h-e-s

First off stay out of my life.

Don't you stupid adults have anything better to do than to gossip about people on fb? i guess not dumb hoes maybe you should stop gossiping and drinking that hater ade and maybe the other kids apart of your life who will be lucky if they don't turn out like you. Listen to me good and clear I'm not going anywhere and if you don't want nothing to do with us let me say this once your making me EXTREAMLY HAPPY!!! I mean You judged me before you go to know me you talked shit about me without even knowing what I am about, and if you ever stick my sons name in your mouth again trust me your life will be a living hell and MY HUSBAND will have nothing to do with you and I don't care if your blood or not, his son is more important than your skanky lazy ass, and this goes out to his ex as well you need to get over your damn self and realize he has more than one kid now and he will not jump when you say jump i will make a damn sure of that you jealous hoe. get over it. he loves me and i love him and the three of us are the perfect family weather you would like to accept that or not.