It came back...

Well tonight I went shopping with my mom (and she insisted we bring rhylan, ugh.) LOL not that I love him, because I love him with every part of my little being but it's hard to really shop with a toddler! We're going to be going to church soon, so that's the reason for the shopping emergency! hehe. But I wanna feel good/better about myself so I think I always try to look my BEST when i'm in church, usually... not with Glory because well, I didn't like the church-but I am sure that I will LOVE this new church! :) Well tonight I tried to talk "sexy" to George... But- He didn't like it, and it's really starting to DEPRESS me! He was going into the shower tonight and i told him that he better shut the door/lock the door because i was going to "rape" him and he just laughed it off and i told him that i wanted an answer but he didn't all he did was close the door.... so he comes down stairs from the shower and he tries to kiss me goodnight but i pull away and i say "No, I'm mad at you" and he asks why so i told him that he didn't answer me and he says I'll Answer you when your serious, and i said i was and still nothing. I heart kind of sunk really low!! & I felt the depression... the depression is indeed back... I'm going to be going to the ER soon, and I am hoping that they can treat my depression there as well... I'm just scared.... I miss the man who I fell in love with.... The man I fell in love with was always talking about sex and could bearly keep his hands off of me, and now? anytime i mention sex he ignores me... and as far as touching me? it's a miracle if he does touch me... I just don't know what to do anymore, I just feel really sad. I just think he should go out of town by himself and maybe I just need a few days to think to be by myself and think about everything, and maybe it would do him some good as well. I love him more than anything him & rhylan & my mommy and JESUS. are my life, my world. but I'm just really confused....